All About Me
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting They Call Me:NiwaKun/Tsukiko
I'm a: Young Poet
Proud being:Alive
D.O.B: 3/26/08
Zodiac: Aries
Reppiin: The Roc.
I like: Lets see, Umm...Ramen(Beff Flavor),Paki, Gummi Worms, Gummi Bears, JPop, Anime & Manga

Life So Far
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting It's been a while since i been who i am, it would seem the path i went down was dammed. I let the feelings in my heart, and my soul tear apart. But now im back where my love for you had it's start. This is my life so far, i finally found that lost falling star. How could i let my love for you slip so far?.. But i'm back, No matter how life may be, in my eyes, this love for you is what i need. Life because of you i can see. In this wolrd...in life so far, i can breathe.

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And So?


My Friends
My Chelley
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A Feeling
Photobucket- Video and Image Hosting I cant help but think of you, when im with you, it seems my heart beats anew. a feeling is shared that is experainced by the few.. a feeling in which can only be shared with you. a feeling i always knew. Even though my heart beats a new beat, when im with you, the same old rythem repeats. I learned that a love can be forever, no matter what happens. and end to it is never. No matter what, my heart is forever with yours. i'll always be on the other side of your soul's door. This is what life is lived for.

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Posted by: aka04

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Original: 1/26/2007 9:50 AM
Views: 5
Comments: 17
eProps: 16

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Friday, January 26, 2007

 

Hey!!!
Its been a while, Ohiyo!

I guess its really been a long month since i updated, not because i didnt want to but because i usually come to my xanga to vent out my feelings through my poetry and the things i could never say in mere words.

but believe it or not, im in the deepest pain i could ever be in...its funny how it took me this long to figure out, but even more shameful that it took reading a manga to help me figure it out.
Its a pain like....

You ever love someone so much you feel bad because of it..i mean though whole purpose of loving and being in it, is protecting.
And not being able to do so is so painful, feeling as if you failed that person is on of the most painful things one can expreriance.

Im in a love in which i could never express it in words. Feeling these new emotions in which i never thought imaginable let alone be experianced or shown through me. Everything i am, and what i have so soon become is because of her. and i cant help but to shoulder the both of our pain and burdons because i said i would protect her. Im not trying to be "mean" or a "jerk".....just trying to protect you.

Deepest Sympathy

A love experiance by the few,
a feeling in which i never knew.
through you, someone as lonely as me has grew.
Im suddenly in in the deepest simpathy, simply because
youve fallen in love with someone like me.
and some how, being with you has become he greatest need.
not to be selfish but by my side is where you should be.
You where the one that took me from the coldest rain.
shielded this lonely heart, from the deepest pains.
the one who made me proud of my name.
Im udderly in my deepest apology, hoping that
you could somehow forgive me.
for simply not being the person you wanted me to be.
________________________________________
Im sorry Chelley, i wanted to protect you from anything and every thing but it seems
im the one leading to to everything.

In many ways more then one, i guess i am like Sakuya...but in other ways...i couldnt be more far from him.
-
-
-
-
na no da.

 Posted 1/26/2007 9:50 AM - 5 Views - 16 eProps - 17 comments

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17 Comments

Visit JustUs_2's Xanga Site!
I never thought Id be reading another entry from your xanga like this again. It's been awhile since I have actually gone on the computer and sat and read your entry. Nothing has changed. I still cry almost everytime I read one of your poems and then I turn on our song and take a deep breath. And I begin replying to what you have just written. Sometimes I have alot to say...but this time, I feel I should tell you just the important things.

I never knew you felt that way. As your girlfriend, I am a bit fickle as to what I want...but I could never want anyone else that treats me the way you do. I get a little bit mad inside and hurt inside...but deep inside, I really appreciate the person that you are. I'ts not hard for me to distinguish whose important to me..there;s only one. I don't have a hard time saying I love you to you anymore..but yet, I stil get butterflies when I can imagine our time together. Inside, I know Im a little girl, but for your sake and sanity...Im trying to grow out of it. It's hard to deal with little girls and I wanna show you that I can be trusted...and that..im much stronger then I'll ever be.

I won't let you down anymore..nor..from now on..I'll try my hardest to pull out a smile from you. I don't want to let you down anymore. Because you in all my life...HAVE NEVER let me down. I have come to the decision of just throwing away all my goals. I know who I am and what I can achieve...and I know who you are...and what you can achieve...and right now..it's not the time to be so serious..and just laugh a little more. I wanna save all the time in the world just to experience everything with you.

I laughed just a little bit when you said you were like Sakuya....because in my mind when I first picked up that manga and read it...I never thought that you were like Sakuya..but in fact....Sakuya was like you. and Aine just like me. I may not be as stupid and nieve as she is...but before I first met you..I was just like her. An average teenage girl..with nothing in the world to do. I always imagined being with someone like you. And when I finally did meet you...I felt this warmth kinda funny feeling whenever I saw you smile. If i was never to be with you...I felt safe just to be around you.

I feel....

Protected...as you are doing right now. Protecting me from a distance...and taking care of me.

I love you Niwa.

If there is anything in the world that I truly wanted...it's just to be your reason for smiling and laughing everyday.

just as you are my reason. <3
Posted 1/26/2007 10:59 AM by JustUs_2 - reply

Visit Rukia_Kishiim's Xanga Site!

....whats new with me?

i get ungorunded tomorrow!

YAY! xD

p.s. train is gorgeous.

Posted 1/26/2007 2:13 PM by Rukia_Kishiim - reply

Visit azn8812's Xanga Site!
hey ^-^ yeah, it has been a while, mm, not much up with me except my heart got broken, yup, pretty much it =) what about you?? hope things are great with you
Posted 1/26/2007 8:00 PM by azn8812 - reply

Visit Rukia_Kishiim's Xanga Site!

have fun. HANG OUT WITH THE FRIENDS I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A MONTH.

deal with all of the guys(...was it 5 or 6?) who asked me to be their girlfriend, and turned them down "because i'm grounded" (I hate em all)

lol

Posted 1/26/2007 10:18 PM by Rukia_Kishiim - reply

Visit wistfulwings's Xanga Site!
wow. hi. lol definitely a really long time.

ehh. ive been okay. happier than usual. which i think is weird. and its freaking out my family too. lol

but pfft!! im also having issues and i feel dumb about them, and i hope you don't mind me ranting to you because it's just something that's bothering me a lot. >_< okay, well... ive been going through this stupid depression and im always lonely, but ive been talking to my best (guy) friend and so.. that's why i feel happier... but i feel dumb because as much as i like him as my friend, sometimes i think i like him.. more. NYA. and then my other friends and my parents are like PFFT. he'll be your boyfriend don't deny it. but i feel weird about it and i get mad because i get jealous at this other chick that talks to him. and.. I don't like this at all. D: i don't want this to happen to me. x_X

okay. sorry for all that... im just bothered. i need to talk to my other best friends...

anyway. how have you been? :D
Posted 2/1/2007 4:53 PM by wistfulwings - reply

Visit azn8812's Xanga Site!
hey thnx 4 the comment ^-^ and yeah I do think it like that b/c I'm not giving up that easily. I guess there are much more out there in this world, thnx again, how are you doing? =)
Posted 2/2/2007 5:43 PM by azn8812 - reply

Visit Seto_Only_Love's Xanga Site!

True, ture. But if you watched ep 15 and 16 then you should know that L is smart as hell too lol.

-Yuki-

Posted 2/3/2007 11:25 AM by Seto_Only_Love - reply

Visit wistfulwings's Xanga Site!
Maybe... I just feel bad because I tend to act like I don't like him at all. x_X And we argue a lot. I think I'm mean. X_X And I'm pretty sure it bothers him too even though he doesn't say it. Holy cow, this is so complicated. I don't know.... thanks for the advice though. =)
Posted 2/3/2007 2:40 PM by wistfulwings - reply

Visit kurosaki_05's Xanga Site!
donnell!!!!!!!!!!.u need to update homie lol..shh i know i do to lmao so did u go to the shaolin thing yet?well cal or ill call u pc
Posted 2/13/2007 11:36 AM by kurosaki_05 - reply

Visit kurosaki_05's Xanga Site!
''You ever love someone so much you feel bad because of it..i mean though whole purpose of loving and being in it, is protecting.
And not being able to do so is so painful, feeling as if you failed that person is on of the most painful things one can expreriance.'' i know how it feels and yea its the worst pain to feel  :(
Posted 2/13/2007 11:39 AM by kurosaki_05 - reply

Visit lms_anime_lover's Xanga Site!
nothin much just i cant talk often cuz im at a friends house typing this!! and well im gonna go bye
Posted 2/17/2007 11:58 AM by lms_anime_lover - reply

Visit Seto_Only_Love's Xanga Site!

eh nothing much but yeah you?

-Hazumi-

Posted 2/20/2007 6:37 PM by Seto_Only_Love - reply

Visit Seto_Only_Love's Xanga Site!

Nani? o_O?

-Hazumi-

Posted 2/22/2007 3:30 PM by Seto_Only_Love - reply

Visit wistfulwings's Xanga Site!
well, hello~ lol

things aren't bothering me as much, so im good. [: thanks.
so.. any new stuff with you?
Posted 2/22/2007 7:36 PM by wistfulwings - reply

Visit Seto_Only_Love's Xanga Site!

im doing fine lol no not really i dont really look for anime any more it drives me crazy when i cant find any new good ones lol

how bout u?

-Hazumi-

Posted 3/3/2007 11:04 AM by Seto_Only_Love - reply

Visit Seto_Only_Love's Xanga Site!

Yes, that's true. Well, I'm hoping your doing well later!

-Nina-

Posted 3/10/2007 4:37 PM by Seto_Only_Love - reply

Visit flashlight_warrior's Xanga Site!

yay, a fellow DeathNote lover!

~*kimberlyness

Posted 3/15/2007 5:22 PM by flashlight_warrior - reply


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Cursors by Xquizit_442
Here I am again trying to tell the person I love most, that I¡|m deeply in love with her. That I am, Chelley, you keep me going in this life, this world that I have learned to hate so much. The very thought that at the end of each and every day I may get to hold you in my arms, that I will get to just see you makes every day worth going through. Just too simply whisper into your ear that, ¡§I love you.¡̈ To some day tell the world that I have managed to find the one for me. I can¡|t say that I want you to be with me and only me because I¡|m not the type to act that selfishly. I do love you but, at the same time I don¡|t. Simply because the words, ¡§I love you¡̈ just doesn¡|t fully explain this feeling that I have for you. There is just no words that could explain this feeling, I wish I could but it can¡|t be. I just know that I think of you and only you when all else seems to fail, when I feel down in any way I know that your always there. Just as I¡|m always and will always be there for you. When you fall I will be the one to pick you back up, when you cry I will be the one to dry away your tears. When you walk I will be there to walk with you. And even on that walk when you get tired, I will be that person willing to carry you the whole way there. And you know why¡K? Simply because I love you, because I need you in my life for it to be complete. For me myself to be complete, you¡|re a piece of me. I need you here with me. I want you here with me. I want to be that person to give, to experience all of those moments you so often think and dream about. I guess the reason why I have held back from doing all of these things was because I just didn¡|t want to jump to anything before knowing for shore how I really felt. Now I do and I have nothing to not from you, not the world and not myself. I LOVE MICHELLE NGUYEN!!! And there¡|s not a second of hesitation in me saying that because I do. Most people look for love or that feeling, but it came to me you came to me. .we came to each other. Now that were here together I don¡|t want it to end. I don¡|t want this fantasy come true to end. This, you are the best thing that has ever happened to Donnell, that you are. This feeling is the best thing that has ever happened to Donnell¡Kyes, yes. Being with you is the one thing I want most from life, the only thing. That I can say without feeling unsure because I am sure, I know that I am in love. Even if somehow we were apart you still would be here with me, in my heart. In my heart you will always be. There will never be anyone in life that will touch or understand as you have. Someday I will show you how pretty you are, no matter what anyone one say. You¡|re the most beautiful person I have ever met, weather in looks or personality. I love you for you; I love you for being the first person to understand me, to love me. The first to want to be with me because they love me, not because they think I¡|m cute. Yes, yes. Chelley you are just too kewaii. I love you pretty smile, I love that you know what I am going to say before I even say it. It proves that you do understand me, that we understand each other. I couldn¡|t see myself with any other. Someday I will be there everyday for you, I will hold you in my arms and sing you to sleep without any hesitation. Michelle, ¡§LOVE¡̈ so many reasons why I would choose you first. I have just simply fallen for you, till the end of all time I will stay with you. Till the end of all time I will keep falling for you. And the only time I would ever hit the ground is if I know your there with me, by my side to fall with me. Well until our next and first moment¡K.. NA NO DA!!! With anything and everything and every fiber of my being: Niwa-kun -->

That Feeling
The very thought of someone like me still being here, the thought of me having only life to fear. The will to live just seemed to disappear. That feeling of me not wanting to be here, because of fear, the fear of me still being here, but one thing is clear. I want to live, because someone like you appeared. I guess falling in love was one of the things I mostly feared. The pain of a five year old remain, the suffering that person/ boy has been through never disappears. Nor do those never shed tears. Since the day someone like her¡K..you, came into my life all that anger that pain and strife just seems to go away. Even the sorrow of tomorrow is bearable just as long as I know that she¡|ll be there. The feeling I have for you, now is just so clear. And that next day that next time I get to hold you in my arms is so near. Just the mere thought of the person that helped me hear my heart is no longer here the thought of that tears my heart apart your love for me, my love for you makes and keeps my dark nights just seem so bright. Should that love, this feeling disappear so will my light. And there would fall my bright nights. I would simply return back into internal darkness. So would my feeling of loneliness that will to live. But now that life has somehow given me the chance to live a dream. To live my own fantasy, just when I started to give up on life, on love, the angels sent you down from above. Who would have thought the two of us would have fallen deeply, madly in love. This feeling I would never want to let go. The place of happiness is somewhere I no longer wish to know. But, ¡§a place where only lovers go¡̈ a place where not many go. Is a place that I choose when I¡|m with you? And you, you were that person to take me there. Giving me that feeling the two of us share. Being with you is my only care. Even in the presence of deaths dreary stare. It¡|s deadly, cold and lonely glare. I think of just being with you. Our love will never die because my love is forever there. Leaving your side is something my heart will never bear. CHELLEY, for your warm embrace I will forever be ready when around you my heart is always unsteady. But, for your love I am and will always be ready. lets just simply take it slow. THIS IS HOW LOVES SUPOSE TO BEEE! With all the love: Donnell M. Jackson, Jr.

I always wonder, "does she miss me as much as i miss and love her?"
Because i do.
At times you, seem so far away.
At times i push you away, against my
great judgement and dismay.
And for that at night i pay.
Wondering if she'll forgive me, if she'll hate me.
If, you'll leave me.
Like always my self and myself only decieves me.
To embrace you and simply just be with you relives me.
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